Saturday, June 30, 2012

Making progress

Today was much better (just like all the people at NHFC said it would be).  We've figured out what works for us, language wise.  We've done better about communicating our expectations and he seems happier knowing what we expect.  God love him he is so cold-natured, even in this crazy heat, he would rather be outside.  He is opening up more and more, especially with the kids.  He and L.J. are having the most trouble, mostly because L.J. is self-appointed head of household, bossy, used to being the oldest ;)  I tried to tell Roman that L.J. was jealous.  He said "jealous means love".  I guess it does, in way.  I hope he knows how much we all love him already!  Bailey is the most reserved with him still, but he doesn't press her so I know she'll come around.  Olivia loves him and wants him to hold her, which I don't think he is used to, but he does it anyway.  He ignored Gabe for the most part until today.  I was working on laundry when Gabe started crying, before I could stop what I was doing Roman had picked him up and was bringing him to me.  But Gabe was happy enough with Roman so I sent them off to play so I could finish up.  John was wrestling with the kids today and I tried to encourage Roman to jump in, but he said no.  Of course it wasn't a firm no, about a minute into he was piled in there with the rest of them.  It is so wonderful to hear him laugh!  We took him to the Farmer's Market this morning, it helped to let him pick out some things to eat.  He told me he didn't really like tomatoes, but I bought them anyways since my kids LOVE them.  Apparently he doesn't like Ukrainian tomatoes, because he helped devour 2 pints of Sungold tomatoes at lunch.  Funny new discovery, ranch is the new ketchup.  Speaking of food, y'all I may go broke feeding this kid.  He ate 2 hot dogs, 5 hamburgers, grilled squash, and baked beans for dinner!!!!  He would have eaten a sixth hamburger but Bailey snatched it up before he could get to it.  I would also like to say a HUGE thank you to everyone who has offered us help, support, encouragement, and prayers!  It means so much to us that we are not on this journey alone.  Please continue to pray that he would be more and more open to receive love and affection, that he will not become too focused on "stuff", and that his heart will be open to the gospel.  We are taking him with us to church tomorrow, part of me wants to shelter him like I would a newborn baby, but I know that I can't so please just be patient with me if I'm not my normal social self.

Friday, June 29, 2012

So much for expectations ...

I was so excited, as most of you know, about Roman (pronounced ro-MAHN) coming to live with us for 5 weeks that I might have overlooked a few of the issues we might experience.  Luckily reality has this way of kicking you in the teeth.  Let me be clear, I still love him and I would do it all over again in a second!  But, either because of lack of time or lack of attention I just didn't quite get to the reality part on my own.  First, he speaks NO English.  Which I knew going into this, but I was assured that "Google translate" would be my best friend.  Well guess what - Roman is a horrible speller (first John-ism).  Google has a lot of fun with us.  Second, he is really nosy I mean curious ;) He has gone through just about everything we own.  Third, I didn't realize what a pushover I would be to a 15 year old boy.  He asks, I say no, then he says "Pleez" - with the face (you know the face, the one you can't say no to, I thought they outgrew that face).  Which brings us to my next issue, he is 15!!  Why didn't any of you tell me that a 15 yr. old boy would have nothing in common with the rest of our family?!?  I was told, by those fibbers at NHFC (j/k), that he will play on the computer, play video games, watch movies, and help clean the house.  Nope not my kid.  He only knows very basic computer skills, doesn't like t.v. at all, will play a little Wii, but he'd rather be outside ALL.THE.TIME (second John-ism).  Do y'all know how hot it is?  He keeps asking me when we're going to the ocean.  Whenever I get a spare 4 hours to drive you there Dude!  He will clean up when asked (third John-ism) and he washes himself and keeps his room neat, which is more than I can say for my own kids at the moment.  Which brings me to my final point - he is really good with the kids.  He is patient and kind and generous and protective (fourth John-ism).  John and I sat together, hiding in the kids room with that what-did-we-get-overselves-into look on our faces trying to troubleshoot when he reached out and grabbed my hands and prayed.  You see at the end of the day, this journey is an act of faith and obedience.  So we lay all of our worries and stresses and fears at His feet and trust in His plan and His provision.  Please continue to pray with us and for us.

Current needs for Roman
  • Shorts, sz. 12/14 for everyday and for church
  • Shirts, sz. 12/14 a few more t-shirts, but more for church
  • Sunglasses
  • Black socks
  • Music - we have an mp3 player, but we need more music and a new set of earbuds
  • Backpack
  • Rolling Suitcase (MUST be 26-28", but does not have to be new)

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

He's on his way ...

This is Roman.  He is 15 years old and he lives in an orphanage in Ukraine.  And right now, he is on his way to OUR HOUSE!!!!  This has all happened so fast, so many of you have only caught bits and pieces of the story, so hopefully this will catch everyone up.  About two weeks ago I looked at John and said, "we need a summer project".  John said, "what we need is a break, we've been going nonstop since last year practically."  He's right, but one of the things we didn't want to take a break from was ministry.  Most of the areas of ministry we had been working in were slowing down or stopping for the summer, even relationships we'd been cultivating seemed to want to "take a break".  I'd been seeing facebook posts from my friends, Jenna & Kim, about an orphan hosting program, so I checked it out.  It would be for 5 weeks (almost exactly the amount of time our other ministries were taking off) and there was only one child who still needed a host family.  I ran it by my mother-in-law first and told her I was going to be asking John about it that night.  She said, "Well, I'll listen for the scream.  Then I'll know you've told him."  She was right though, I fully expected to get another, "have you lost your mind?" type response from John.  Or even the more reasonable, "we need to rest and recuperate, let's just enjoy the break."  And he'd wouldn't have been wrong either way.  But you see I had already looked at his face.  His name was Vlad, he is 12 years old and he lives in Latvia.  He was no longer a statistic, not just another random number in a stream of seemingly endless figures we are bombarded with daily.  I looked at his face and I crumbled - I was committed.  So I had to ask, I just had to!  Oh and did I mention that the almost $3000 it costs to bring them over would be our responsibility (and that we'd only have 2 weeks to raise those funds).  I was sure that this fact alone would cause the above mentioned responses from my sweet husband.  But then a miracle happened.  He said yes!  I called my friend Jenna to let her know that we would be willing to host this summer.  She was so excited for us!  She directed me to the online pre-application and said she would contact the director and let me know something soon.  She called me back the next morning to let me know that another family had called about an hour before we did.  I tried not to be upset, I tried not to be disappointed, but it was too late.  Don't get me wrong I was happy for Vlad, but a little part of me was just sad.  That night I sat down at the computer and was trying to decide whether I would even bother with the pre-application.  We had already decided that we would try to host in the winter, so I went ahead with the application that night.  The next day Jenna called back to let me know that another child was available and she sent me his picture.  His name was Roman, he is 15 and he lives in Ukraine.  Something had happened with his previous host family and now he needed a new one.  So, I looked at his picture and we said yes, again!!  Now this situation was a little different, since he was already picked by a host family, they had already raised all of his funds.  He was also 3 years older.  Once these kids turn 16 they are no longer eligible for adoption (we'll get back to this later), so this does matter.  It also matters since all of my kids are still young.  Jenna called me back that night to say that the director was going to try to place him with a different family, since they were adoption ready and he would be aging out quickly.  Again, I understood and I want what is best for these kids, but I was pretty bummed.  I prayed for this boy and for this other family, practically half the night.  In the mean time another child had come available, so Jenna called again to see if we were still interested (and at this point promised that things never happen like this).  So she sent me another picture.  I didn't like this kid as much (just being honest here), but I just didn't feel as drawn to him as I did Roman.  But we said yes, again!  It seemed like forever, but Jenna called me back only hours later to tell me that the other family could not host Roman, so we would need to choose.  I flipped out a little bit at this point.  I can't choose - are you kidding me?  Who stays and who goes?  How cruel!  My heart instantly wanted to choose both, but the Holy Spirit checked my motives quickly.  We were not being called to save the world, we already have a Savior, we were only being called to host one boy for 5 weeks, that is all.  Just be obedient to what I have asked, I felt Him leading.  So I called John at work and we both decided that our hearts were set on Roman.  I made the call to Jenna.  Not even two hours later another family had stepped up to host the other boy.  I wanted to cry I was so happy!!  Since then we have been working practically non-stop trying to fill out all the paperwork and prepare for Roman's arrival.  I have prayed for a boy I have never met.  I have bragged to everyone I know about how sweet he looks.  And I truly love a little boy I have never met.  I have cried just thinking about having to put him back on a plane to Ukraine.  But he must go home at the end of the 5 weeks.  New Horizons is only a hosting program, they do NOT handle adoptions.  But here's the kicker, one of the hopes of the program is that while here, the children will find their "forever family".  That family can then pursue adoption through an adoption agency, which New Horizons can help you find (one that works well in the Eastern European countries).  Roman doesn't have much time and I pray that he will find his "forever family" while here.  I need to caution everyone though, that you must not mention adoption to him or around him.  You will not only jeopardize the hosting program, but also possibly jeopardize his adoption as well.  International adoptions are tricky and I am not an expert, so I trust the people that are and I will enforce this rule!  Thank you so much for reading our story so far.  I will update more when Roman arrives.  If you are interested in adoption and would like to meet him, just let me know and I will send you the information to schedule a visit.  Please join me in praying for Roman, for his time here in America, for his "forever family", for him to be open to all the love our family has to give and for him to learn how much our God loves him!